I Was Struggling To Relate To My Children

When I first connected with Lavinia, I was struggling to set boundaries both with my mother (who struggles with mental health issues), and also with other toxic family members.

Becoming a mom unmasked some deep rooted issues and unresolved trauma that I experienced as a child and, as a result, I was struggling to relate to my children and to create a safe space for them emotionally.

I had become emotionally numb/disconnected from some of the most important people in my life and did not have a blueprint for being the type of warm, nurturing mother that I wanted to be (that I wished I had had).

I had never worked with a coach before nor done any type of therapy - my expectations were to gain the tools to be able to process and work through my emotions/trauma so that I could be more emotionally available to those I love.

I don't think I realized just how much pain, anger and trauma were still buried inside of me - I had always perceived everyone around me to be more wounded than me. This definitely changed after our first session, although it took a couple sessions for it to really start to make sense.

Lavinia was able to help me identify the root cause of some of my feelings that I don't think I would have been able to identify on my own. For example, that my feeling ‘unsafe’ is what often leads to negative reactions and subsequent shutting down emotionally.

Identifying this, greatly improved my relationship with my children and husband because in addition to this, I'm now also able to identify the deeper cause of the reactions in people around me - when my children are acting out or being super emotional, I'm able to step back and understand why and give them the safe space that they need to process their feelings.

Lavinia also helped me to realize that I need to establish healthy boundaries with some of the people in my life and to stop trying to solve the problems of those who are not interested in getting the help that they need.

I surprised myself during our series by realizing that I am capable of inner parenting and healing the wounds that ‘little me’ still experiences. I was also surprised by what a huge role my monthly cycle plays in regulating my thoughts/emotions and have been able to tap into the power of that.

My biggest learning was that just because I may not have had a warm, nurturing mother that I looked to for guidance and life advice, this does not mean that I'm not capable of giving that to my children.

I also learnt that I can be my own inner-parent and that I can heal old wounds when I am struggling. I will apply these skills for the rest of my life as I continue to navigate relationships with my family.

I definitely feel that the coaching series was good value – Lavinia changed the way I approach my relationship with others and allowed me to see things more holistically.

Thank you for your guidance!

 ~ Ashley Sebastionelli, business owner/entrepreneur & mama, USA