I Was Having Outbursts Of Mama Rage

When I first connected with Lavinia I was struggling with disproportionate reactions to my toddlers' behavior, and having outbursts of 'Mama Rage' that left me (and my kids) feeling awful.

I had a near-crippling fear that I was reverting to the same, emotionally-immature behaviors my mom used to parent me, and that my children would feel the same pain that I was feeling as an adult as a result of my parenting. I didn't know it at the time, but I didn't have a very good relationship with myself.

I was intuitively drawn to Lavinia, but also felt deep down that no one could help me get out of this dark place of fear, shame and reactivity. After our first Making Peace With Your Past group-coaching call, I remember feeling proud of myself for taking the first step, and really moved by the community of women and the way Lavinia held the space for everyone there.

Most notably, I feel that I have a much better relationship with myself since working with Lavinia. I hadn't realized how harsh I was with myself, and as a result, how I was looking for validation and soothing from my partner and my kids. My wounded inner child was definitely in the driver's seat a LOT of the time. I've learned to have much more compassion for her.

Before working with Lavinia I wasn't able to access a lot of the parenting tools that resonated with the parent I wanted to be. I would get triggered, and react to my kids' behavior from the place of my inner child, and felt very confused. Now, I can better recognize when I'm feeling stressed, and what I need to do to de-escalate in order to show up as the adult I'd like to be. And if and when I do 'lose it,' I can come back to myself much more quickly, and know how to put in the repair with my children and myself.

Through working with Lavinia I've discovered the voice of the Inner Parent, which was most surprising and moving. I wish I had this tool years ago. It's like a superpower that helps to anchor, and bring me back to myself, that no one can take away, because it doesn't depend on anyone or any external thing. It feels sacred, and I'm so grateful that my work with Lavinia brought me to it.

In addition to the Inner Parent, my biggest learning was that I wasn't alone in many of my feelings and fears. There is a community of women who have similar struggles, moments of doubt and confusion, and no one is a perfect parent.

I feel very happy with my experience. I purchased the Making Peace With Your Past course several years ago, and the pricing structure has shifted several times since then, lowering the cost of the course, and also making private coaching sessions more accessible.

In my perfectionist/type A world, I would've started with the private coaching (which wasn't even possible for me at the time!) and moved through that in a more linear fashion. This just speaks to my recurring fear that I "didn't do it right," but deep down I know that I came to and moved through the course in the way that was right for me.

I loved, much more than I expected I would, the women's circle element of the Making Peace With Your Past course, as well as getting to know Lavinia more through the one-on-one coaching.

I was repeatedly impressed with how she was able to get to the essence of what I was experiencing during my short shares on the Making Peace With Your Past group calls. Oftentimes, I hadn't worked something out yet in my head, or felt I had articulated my thoughts, and she so astutely picked up on a word or a tone of voice that really cut to the heart of what I needed advice on. I felt seen and supported during some of my most vulnerable and confusing times as a parent to date.

~ Lindsay Herman, mama, USA