I Was Struggling With Being Violent

When we first connected, I was struggling with being violent and almost harming my kids.

I felt very nervous before our first session together. I had a lot of worries: about being accepted, misunderstood or misjudged and I was certainly worrying about the safety of my children in terms of how vulnerable could I be - I wanted help, but I didn’t want the authorities called on me.

I had told my husband but I knew I needed to talk with somebody else about this because I was not getting to the heart of the matter and my triggers had not been fully dealt with. I knew I needed to dive in and do the work; no cost was too great.

I think of coaching with Lavinia as a magical and amazing journey. It’s hard to believe that the simple and little work that I did along the way made such a difference.

Now, I am not overreacting as much at all and can support myself and my partner with unconditional love and acceptance. I do constant check-ins and validate my feelings which helps me tremendously to pass through what I’m feeling. These and the journaling I did really helped to break the emotional wounds that were behind my outbursts. Soothing the pain of my inner child also really helped!

I’m in a much better state of emotional regulation now and don’t get rocked by my son’s disobedience or volatile emotional responses, both of which are happening less. I’m letting things go! Now, I’m validating myself, my children, my husband and even my friends when they are struggling. I feel very present and very grateful for my many blessings and I’m so much more confident in my ability to parent well.

I surprised myself the most during the coaching series by my ability to come up with what I needed in the moment! I’m very happy to be moving past some very big, OLD issues and pain. My biggest learning was that I had mother issues. Lol.

Sometimes having so many assignments felt tough or overwhelming but they kept me working and motivated and Lavinia kept great track! She gave the tools to do them and they were an important part of me practising these between sessions. It’s easy to get lost in the process so I appreciated her focus on moving me along.

I 100% think the coaching experience was incredible value. Oh yes. There is no price too high to keep from hurting yourself or others, especially given Lavinia’s level of expertise and her ability to remember and keep up with what we needed to do.

~ Jenny H, homeschooling mama, USA