I Was Struggling In All Aspects Of My Life

When we first connected, I felt I was struggling in all aspects of my life. I was feeling disconnected, unmotivated, and all-round lacking. I had also been struggling with my relationship to food since I was a child and felt like that was getting completely out of my control - I needed help getting back to myself.

I had never worked with a coach before and didn’t really know what to expect but I felt hopeful and could quickly tell I was in the right place. I felt I’d found the right person to help me work through my past and felt excited but also hesitant - I wasn’t sure that I could truly achieve the work I was setting out to do.

Since coaching, life is amazing! I’ve had this feeling before, but it previously came in waves and was usually more short-lived. Now I feel like I’m back to myself and have found a part I’ve never seen before - one that’s more stable and self-assured.

My relationships with the people closest to me—my family and my friends—have improved significantly. Over the past year, I’ve felt a stronger sense of connection and intention in how I show up with them. With my siblings, whom I’ve always been close to, I had previously felt a bit disconnected, almost like spending time together was something I “should” do rather than something I genuinely wanted. Now I find myself wanting to see them because I love them, miss them, and truly enjoy being around them.

In regards to my parents, specifically my mom, I feel I’ve developed boundaries that I’ve never had before. I feel more secure in who I am and more like an adult than I ever have. I’m no longer turning to her out of a need for comfort in the same way, because I’ve learned how to comfort myself. That shift has allowed me to reach out from a more genuine place—simply wanting to talk or spend time together rather than looking for something from her.

I’ve also noticed meaningful changes in my friendships. I feel more confident and secure in those relationships, and I’m no longer preoccupied with whether I’m doing enough or am enough for them. I’m able to be more present and authentic in my these relationships rather than worrying about how I’m being perceived. 

What surprised me most about myself during the coaching series was how much of me was stuck in the past, by how much of who I am today was operating from a place of lack due to my upbringing and by how much I’d subconsciously held onto. I had done a decent amount of work on my past before coaching and was aware of a lot of my habits, tendencies and past traumas but whilst I’d worked through and released some of it, the necessary bits - the core pieces - were still there.

My biggest learning was how truly mind blowing it is to see how much of my day-to-day behaviour was based on past experiences - things that I hadn’t realized were related at all that were seeming ingrained in me by my upbringing. It’s really quite beautiful how shining a light on those connections changed them and how, having seen these, I now can’t unsee them. I can grow from this place.

I also learnt to see the effects of being gentle on myself, being understanding towards myself and viewing something I was doing as neither good nor bad but with understanding of why I might be doing it and where this behaviour might be coming from.

The coaching series was absolutely a good value, given what I got out of it and I am grateful that I had the resources to go through this process. I believe very strongly in this work and think it’s truly invaluable.

I can’t thank Lavinia enough for everything she’s done. I am so glad to have found her and will definitely miss speaking with her!

~ Alexis Valdovinos, scientist, USA