I Was Losing It With My Older Daughter

When I first reached out to Lavinia, I was "losing it" with my older daughter. We had a new baby in the picture and my eldest was acting out. I was getting overwhelmed by anger and frustration. Even in the midst of being triggered, I noticed and hated my tone and what I was saying. These were the exact sorts of things I did not want to repeat from my own upbringing and yet I could not stop myself.

When I became a mother, I was floored by how much I loved my daughter. She immediately (obviously) became the most precious thing in the world to me and I was beyond heartbroken to find myself having this volatile dynamic with her after her sibling arrived. I finally reached out when, on more than one occasion, I had handled her roughly.

I had never worked with a coach before and can't say I consciously had any real expectations, I just hoped there was some way I could get back what I felt like I had lost. I hoped there was some way I could find myself being the mother I wanted to be again.

I was nervous before the first session. I had heard Lavinia on podcasts and I was honestly a little intimidated. After our first session however, I was totally at ease. Even though she's clearly very strong, she is warm, approachable, and very easy to talk to, so this was all a relief and made working with her feel like a safe space.

The contrast between my life before coaching and now is like night and day. I finished working with Lavinia about a month ago and I have not "lost it" with my daughter once. This work righted my perception of her - she is totally my precious girl again, even when she's dysregulated!

I know that my face lights up for her again, my heart fills up with love. And of course her behavior is better because of all this, without having changed anything else (I’m getting more lenient if anything).

I surprised myself the most during the series with the depth of what came up during our somatic sessions. I didn't really expect much on that end of things, but was able to feel what it had felt like for me to be a young child, a baby even, and this was where all the fear masked as anger was coming from.

My biggest learning, even though I had already intellectually understood this going into the work, was that I feel like I have embodied knowledge now of how to use difficult moments and feelings as a means to grow, become more aware, and ultimately let go of whatever I'm carrying that was blocking me from feeling love and peace (even in the midst of emotional ups and downs).

I 100% think this work was good value given what I got out of it!

~ Brittany Kingsley, physician (currently stay-at-home mom), USA