I Was Stuck In A Cycle Of Overwhelm, Anger, Guilt and Shame
When I first reached out, I felt completely stuck in cycles of overwhelm, anger, guilt and shame. The biggest issue was losing my patience with my kids. I was getting triggered by normal childhood behaviours and reacting in ways that didn’t align with the kind of parent I wanted to be. I knew all the parenting strategies, had read the books and listened to the podcasts, but whenever I felt overwhelmed, all of that seemed to disappear and I would fall back on old patterns.
What made it even harder was how harshly I judged myself afterwards. I worried I was failing as a parent and damaging my children. I was also struggling with emotional eating and found myself caught in a similar pattern of knowing what to do but feeling unable to change it.
I’d done plenty of personal development work before, but this was my first experience with deeper emotional healing. I came into the process hopeful, but also unsure whether it would really create lasting change.
One of the biggest shifts came very early. Instead of focusing only on stopping behaviours like yelling or emotional eating, we started exploring my goals and what I actually wanted underneath those struggles: how I wanted to feel, how I wanted to respond to stress, and the kind of relationship I wanted with myself and my children. For the first time, my reactions started to make sense rather than feeling like evidence that I simply needed more self-control.
The changes over the last few months have been significant. I don’t get triggered nearly as often as I used to, and when I do, I recognise it much earlier. I’m more proactive about supporting myself, I have practical tools that genuinely help, and the relationship I’ve developed with my inner parent has been transformative.
The biggest change for me has been self-compassion. In the past, a difficult parenting moment could send me into a shame spiral for hours or days. Now I’m much more able to hold those moments in perspective. I trust that repair is possible. I know I don’t have to be perfect to be a good parent. Learning to treat myself with kindness has created more change than I ever expected.
I was also surprised by how powerful the memory work was. Some of the biggest shifts happened through revisiting and processing earlier experiences. It helped me move beyond intellectual understanding and access things at a much deeper level.
The impact of this work has extended far beyond parenting. My relationship with my parents has changed, becoming deeper and more authentic, I’ve become more aware of my own needs and limits, and I feel calmer, more regulated and more grounded in everyday life.
Most of all, I’ve surprised myself by proving that change is actually possible. When I started, I genuinely felt stuck and worried these patterns were simply part of who I was. Now I know that awareness, healing and self-compassion can create real and lasting change.
This coaching was an investment, but when I look at the changes in my relationship with myself, my children and my family, I genuinely believe it was worth it. I still have work to do, but I feel like I’ve built foundations that will continue to benefit me long after the coaching has finished.
Thank you Lavinia for creating such a safe, supportive and non-judgmental space to do this work. You've challenged me, encouraged me, and helped me uncover things I never would have reached on my own. I'll always be grateful for that :)
~ Ruhie Vaidya, Doctor & Mama, Australia